After reading Claire's post on Talk..

I remembered the activity we did in class where we went over various advantages we get as every-day, able-bodied, privileged people. Honestly, it scares me to think about all those things because I don't want to think of what I would be without it; my life would be much harder and I definitely wouldn't be an Emory student today. For what my parents came from, my mother a refugee from Myanmar (formerly Burma, if any of you know about the civil wars and military struggle there), and my father a descendant of sugar slaves in Barbados, life must have been very difficult. I always hear from my dad about how he worked through college because his parents couldn't afford to put him through, and my mother took the housewife role, giving up any idea of college when my older brother was born. My father worked his ass off to support my family for so long, and he gave all that he had up until he hit bankruptcy a few years back. I don't think my parents had it easy when starting in America; my mother worked at a Chinese restaurant and her dad was an alcoholic at the time, always taking her money; my father struggled to stay independent from his parents. For me to think about what they went through in their home countries... my mother tells me about how hard it was in Burma, how her youngest brother almost died at age 5 of a terrible fever, how hard it was to get by, how her mother moved her husband and six children to Massachusetts with only a few hundred dollars. I take advantage of so much in this lifetime, that it's hard for me to understand not having what I do, but the when my family went bankrupt, I started to understand hardship. For the first time in my life, I was financially unstable and had to work for myself and give up all the extra things like birthday gifts and summer vacations to Barbados; my family couldn't afford those things. My mother had to go back to work for the first time in almost 20 years, and she struggled to keep a job, only because she's very people-oriented and can't get along with rude people. My parents went through a lot for me.

I wonder if I have it in me to do the same, heaven forbid it happens to me in the future. I have to learn from my parents and understand all they've gone through in order to make myself who I am, and I try to absorb all I can from them. I am very afraid to think about whether or not my future is secure, hell I'm worried about finding a job by the time I graduate, because that affects my life after Emory. I'm so sheltered in this life that I'm worried, and the privilege has become too much. My life is comfortable, and my boyfriend's life is even more comfortable than mine, and to think that it won't always be like this, it's a wake-up call. We all have to do everything we can and stop taking things for granted, because it won't be here forever.

It also makes me think of "rich", well-to-do parents who don't spoil their children, let alone give them an allowance in order to teach their children to make money and work for what you have. My family is far from wealthy, but we're no longer so close to bankrupt, but I've learned the meaning of a dollar, I know what hard work is, I know how to earn my way and give everything I can, and I know not to step on the feet of the people I pass along the way, or even those with whom I share the path.

I hope we all took something meaningful out of the discussion from Thursday, and I hope we all understand how blesses and privileged we are just as Emory students. Just as college students, hell, just for making it as far in life as we have, because there are plenty of people who die before making it to 21 like me, 18 like a few of us; being adults is a privilege supported by where we grew up, by how our parents cared for us, by what education we received. It all starts at the beginning. And that brings new light to the Hmong idea of the first beginning of the world; I'm finally beginning to understand.