The Child's Choice

The last couple of bloggers discussed their personal lives with relation to Ludo in Ma Vie En Rose. I wish to do the same and reaffirm that neither Ludo’s nor blogger QE323’s lives deviate much from the truth about what a boy experiences growing up.

As I was growing up, I lived with my mom, sister, and grandmother. As a child, I imitated to the best of my abilities what I thought humans did. I think I knew that my sister was doing the same thing, just a few months ahead of me. Therefore, when we visited toy stores and she got a doll, I cried until I got a doll. When my mother put a ponytail in her hair, I whined until she put a ponytail in my hair too. I had no concept or understanding of sex or gender. I simply had the sociological need to interact with other humans, which I achieved by imitating. Similar to Ludo, the dolls and hair style were forced off of me. Just as Ludo was forced to have his hair cut, so was I. Just as Ludo’s parents tried to direct him away from cross dressing as a female, my family hid my dolls and gave me more gender neutral toys such as stuffed animals.

However, the major difference between my life story and Ludo’s is that the changes forced on me didn’t affect me much. I cried for days after I “lost” my dolls, but I reverted to an overjoyed child when I received new toys, whether they were toy cars or stuffed animals. I complained about having my hair cut, but it didn’t bother me. After watching Ma Vie En Rose, I wonder exactly what would have happened had someone not intervened with my dolls and hair. Would I be any different with regards to my identity today? Was I confused at that specific point in my life? Was I exploring or was I choosing to associate with the feminine gender? If my current feelings dictate anything about my past, I can state that I was simply exploring; however, I cannot possibly know what I was thinking as I grew up and explored my identity. I’m sure Ludo encountered confusion at first when his family was forcing him to change. However, I don’t think he had as much satisfaction with masculine ideas such as short hair and toy guns. Had I wanted to revert back to dolls and ponytails, would I have been allowed to do so? I wish to bring up the idea that the environment in which a child grows up does not seem to have much of an affect on his gender choice. For example, while Ludo grew up around three other males, I grew up around no other males, yet I identify through sex and gender as a male, contrary to Ludo.

I believe that the issue of young boys cross dressing is an overly discussed topic today. In fact, a quick Google search for the terms child, cross, and dressing yielded two million results. Ideally, the articles linked in these would say that parents should let the child explore gender in his own way, allowing him to cross-dress and continue cross-dressing for as long as he wants. However, two of the first three results yield the terms therapist or counsel in the text. Parents should understand that children will do what feels best and right to them and that involving counselors and therapists seems to cause more problems than solutions (for lack of a better word because forcing a transsexual to dress out of his/her preference is hardly a solution).