During our class discussion of Ma Vie en Rose, someone mentioned that it is generally considered more acceptable for girls to engage in “boyish” activities, such as playing with trucks, than it is for boys to engage in “girlish” activities, such as playing with dolls. This trend continues through adulthood in our society—for instance, pants and suits are now appropriate for everyone, but it’s still pretty hard to find a man dressed in his best skirt for an important business meeting since he would probably not be taken seriously.
I enjoyed being able to choose between a dress and pants or whether to play with cars or with clothes. But I have always wondered why society in general never approved such a freedom for boys. The first two explanations that popped into my mind were:
a) males are not worthy of participating in/performing such “female” activities
b) “female” activities are not worthy of being participated in by males.
The distinction between “male” and “female” roles and traits is getting blurrier—paternity leave and stay at home dads are a little more common than they used to be—yet it is still true that today a man assuming certain “female” habits or roles is likely to be ridiculed, more so than a woman trying to do the same with “male” roles. Why is that? The two explanations above both lead back to the idea that not only are there distinct gender roles in our society but that the roles played by one gender are more respected than those of the other. It's perhaps not a groundbreaking point, but for me it is a way, perhaps a little more unnoticed than others, in which gender inequalities can be manifested. As important as it is for females to be able to participate in traditionally male roles, it is also important that males not be dissuaded from participating in traditionally female roles.
2 comments:
I think you make a really good point, and one that I have been thinking about since watching this movie. Why is it okay for girls to "act like boys," but not the other way around. There's even a name for a girl that acts like a boy, a tomboy. I think a lot of it has to do with this masculine standard that our society holds boys and men to. Boys are expected to be strong, tough, to not cry. I read about a study where the way that parents take care of their babies depending on whether it is a girl or a boy was analyzed. When the girl infant is crying, parents are more likely to pick her up and comfort her. Even the way that the parents spoke to the children was different. I think that the super masculine image that is a lot of times put on the men in the society, starting at a very young age, has a lot to do with why it's not "okay" for them to play with dolls.
I was actually really glad to read this post and also glad that this idea came up during our class discussion. This comment is coming right now from someone who used to be the ultimate "tom-boy". I've never owned a doll and fought my mom over wearing dresses on a regular basis. I only played sports and only had friends that were guys up until the age of like twelve. Thinking about what you have said and what was discussed in class and the movie, why was it normal for me to act that way? I mean I never wanted to be a boy I was just never, "girly". Thinking back now on the way I acted I know that if a boy acted as a girl in the extreme that I acted as a boy in my early childhood I believe questions would have been raised about his gender identity and sexuality.
I remember growing up my little brother liked to color and was "artsy" and more into clothes than I was. I was always so quick to call him a loser or gay, which is something that I regret now, because he is not either of those. You mention the fact that women can wear a skirt or a suit and both are acceptable, whereas a man wearing a skirt, like Ludo wanted to wear is simply out of the question. I don't understand why there is such a double standard in our society like that. Also, as you have said, why is frowned upon to be a stay at home dad, whereas a stay at home is something that is just accepted as the norm, what does gender have to do with profession?
I understand that there are distinct gender roles in our society, but I believe that those roles should be interchangeable the equally respected. It shouldn't be any greater an accomplishment for a woman to become a surgeon, than for a man to become a surgeon; just as a man isn't any less masculine if he decides to cook and take care of the kids than if a female were to assume that position. I definitely agree with you that the stereotypes of certain male versus female roles need to be shattered.
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