What would you do?

I felt that our conversation in class about Ma Vie En Rose was one of the best yet. In class, we raised every issue I had thought of while watching the movie. Some great questions were raised, not to mention even better answers. We covered everything from French suburbia, to marriage politics, and obviously transexualism vs. homosexuality and a child’s experience with gender identity.

Rarely, though, did we make any personal connections with the film. Maybe everyone was a little afraid to admit to similar sexual identity confusions, though one blogger shared a similar experience of crossdressing. In other discussions in class, one person always poses the question of what we would do if confronted with the same situation or if we’ve ever experienced something similar, but here we opted for close analysis of the film rather than personal narratives. Maybe we just had so much to say about the film. But in any case, I thought I’d post that question here:

1. Does anyone remember childhood memories that mirror Ludo?
2. What would you do your child experienced a similar crisis? Would you opt for the psychologist? Would you encourage him/her to be themselves? How would you explain the situation to the child? Would it just be a phase?

These are all questions we talked about, but only in relation to the characters in the film. Like our discussion about sex change operations, I thought I would take the time here to answer some of mine personally. In talking about a intersex utopia, most of us admitted that we would take the “easier route” and choose surgery for ourselves or our children. (Please correct me if I’m wrong with this generalization.) We even said that while a utopia of no gender/sex distinctions would be great, it probably would not be realized. I know these statements seem close minded on the surface, but it’s the truth. Our society places so much pressure on black and white definitions that I would want my child to lead the “easiest” life they could while still allowing them to be themselves. With the intersex issue that would mean whatever sex they physically resemble the most. With homosexuality/ transexuality, it’s a little tougher to choose what would be “easier” in society and still allow them to be who they are, especially at a young age. If Ludo was my son, I feel ashamed to say I would do a lot of the same things the parents in the film did. I would probably go through a stage of “it’s just a phase” ignorance, then a psychologist, and then maybe even anger and also guilt. I only hope I would reach the same end point Ludo’s mother reached: the point of acceptance.

I think this was what the film was getting at. We will never be sure from the ending of the movie whether or not Ludo was accepted in this new community or even later in his life, but we do know that his mother realized something important; she realized she would love him no matter what. That’s what the film maker wanted us to take from it, and that’s what I would try to attain with my own child. Even if society may not understand, I would want to eventually. Perhaps only after this type of difficult period would I understand, accept, and re-love my child. But I would want to reach that point, and not despite their sexuality, but because that makes up such an important part of my child.